† full of life †

2006-11-29T06:17:00.000-08:00

ah, today had cg, was fun ya... n after cg, jon hor, asked me n weilong go street outreach leh... but only he do =) the place that we were walking abt, had only old people or babies lol -.-''

2006-11-28T17:44:00.000-08:00

yeay, been asked call ppl up n u noe, sow... well, i did, not that bad, but they all no time, wan to play com at home !!! lol =( jon !!! love ya =)

2006-11-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

i always get so eaten up by feelings/moods , the feeling is so strange n dun noe how to say, i will be stuck in something n i will like cant get out... when i m in this, i will start to think negetively...
n also, something very funny, when i m in this, i will somewhat thing of satan... i will think like wad he really is n so on ... just have this "want" to find out, been to satanic wedsites to read abt it, sound so... fear that i would fall into satanic... :(

even of all hurtfull things i said to jon, jon did not scold me or any thing, i m really sorry jon, u r a good sherpherd just that i m a stuborn n childish person, i m hard to reson with... sorry

dun noe y, when i hurt ppl, i feel hurt myself also... how can i stop this? till now, i still ask myself questions like is there really a god? a heaven, a hell?

i have so many questions n problems in me that i keep with myself it really is killing me, plus of all, i have so much so much time to think of all this, been trying to find thing to kill time so i would not thing so much, but i was not able, just is there really noting for me to do on the planet?

also really thinking if i really can be a sherpherd or not, i mean, i now like that, how can i be a sherpherd... n somemore the holy spirit wans me to sow on john tan from my class, he is like... i was like, y him, can other ppl? i dun like him wan lol... he very... ya lol. maybe i really can never make a sherpherd, i dun wan anybody to be ....... by me.

sometimes the question i ask my self keep coming back, my head wanna blast of into outer space liao...

:(

2006-11-27T04:34:00.000-08:00

so darn boring la, holidays whole day noting to do.... sian la this world ! went for the "crash couse" today, walao, jon say that it is like tell u like wad the meaning of this verse is , something like that. lol , so not la, cheat $$$ wan lol ! they teach like wad time where they go, all no use things they teach lol, $20 somemore, eat shit la fucker through a lot of times, i have learn to never trust jon to do anything anymore !

EVERYDAY IS FUCKING SIAN LA !!! NOTING TO DO !!!! DIE BETTER LA GOD DAM IT !!! ASSHOLE !

2006-11-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

prayer really work if u have faith !!!
i went for cg today, so fun, watched movie( cd ) had some learning n stuff, thank god for jon to come up with such a fun way to learn new/more thing :) thanks a lot jon, for leading this group( even when we r so... u noe... but u never give up, u still love us ! =) after cg, went jo-wrong east( forgot how to spell ) to swim =) so fun :) :) :) when we got there, it was really raining cats n doggys okay ! then i prayed for it to stop, after a wheil... the rain stopped !!!! woot !!! thank god. then hor, we keep playing the lazy river n the wave thingy... after when to bath n go eat... i ate, KFC de 3 pcs of chicken n 1 fries n 3 cups of water !!! eat so much... later become like pete :) fat fat n cute cute n chubby chubby. :) pete, i say u cute leh, dun be angry okays? haha, should not bully u but all the humans all do that =) anw, all the best to growing ur sheeps ( then they fat fat liao can eat them * lamb chop, ) i can c that jeff is a little more closer to u liao =) then hor, i really think that being a leader is not some 1 min 2 min can do that kind( u get it?) if the humans dun listen to u, u die die 100% plus chop n wadever u call that =) ok, i dun wan type liao =) bye bye, anw, BLEACH ROCKS !!!

2006-11-20T23:08:00.000-08:00

the one who guides me is the only thing that hurts me, i also hurts him, i do not wan to be hurt, also not to hurts other, my brain is going to fall out any time now... how long more can i take this? will i take the final step to end all this?

2006-11-18T17:59:00.000-08:00

yeay, been really growing these few days, but i still feel that i need to grow so so much much more ! prayer meet was so really good, i went there because i had noting to do n i was not in the mood , but in the end, i think the holy spirit told me to get a hold of myself n not let my mood take over me, so i did, n i really enjoyed the prayer meet. was very refreshed by god lol. :)

going to swim later, may blog later abt it, ( THATS if i m not lazy)

2006-11-13T04:45:00.000-08:00

yeay, haha... my blog is so dead:) aiya, i so lazy, not any more ! haha, found myself growing more in god n so being used by him more :) yeay, went swimming today, pete so fat :) was very fun lol :) after that went to rc to help out in deco, deco is fun ok !!! :) wa, rc is geting more n more nice :) then went to j8 with mich n guys to eat, joke some :) oh ya, i thought of a new praise, " u evil piece of human cells stuck together ! "

2006-10-29T07:43:00.000-08:00

went to see the water bat-ing thing, looks so fun ! i want bat next year !!! after that went to eat with guozhang they all, n played lan !!! then went ps ,anw, in ps, we saw 2 gays holding hands !!! eee, can humans get any more disgusting? then went home liao... so sian la, lol.

i think i take things very sersiously some times, like when they say i m very irratating all that, i get super down...( which happened today ) i think very negatively all the time. wads wrong with me? cant even outreach, y m i so irratating to ppl, cant i just shut up !

feel so down n wanna die. REALLY, there is noting i m living for ! i live for no resion !!! my spelling even sucks, i really see noting good in myself !!! i just totally suck

2006-10-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

yeay, had cg today, was lots of fun n also learnt a lot too ! after cg went to watch death note, it was great ! n after that went to play lan, haha, tower denfece was great. haha, if u have noticed, my post are shorted n shorted now, i m lazy :0

2006-10-19T22:57:00.000-07:00

yeay, i got good mark for almost all my sujects. but fail chinese n math, these two suck lol. anw, yestaday had cg, it was blasting great ! :) noting to blog abt, haha :)

2006-10-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

haha, i so late then reach home. today went to eat lunch with guozhang n went to play lan with pete, leo, wei long and guozhang. then went eat again, went jogging( haha, i didn't really run ) n went play lan again. very late! i prayed for the last bus to come n i will not miss it, n yeay !!! thats y i m home now !!! :) thank god.

GOD !!! I WANT TO BE A SHERPHERD, SAVE ONE SHEEP !!!

2006-10-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

i feel so found, given a really good wake up call/reminder. i really cant go crazy all the thing anymore, i must have self-control in order to grow, really wan to thank jon for helping me, bearing with me even though i was so playfull n crazy n stuff.

jon, u r a GOOD sherpherd

2006-10-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

I AM NEVER GOING TO LET MYSELF BE USED EVER AGAIN!!!

i thought holidays can relax leh, but then, not true lol, hole bloody day noting to do, arrrr.......
anw, stupid blog was down the day before so i m now going to blog about wad bloody things happened. i was in refreshments for cg today, i brought the drinks n call guozhang to buy the lays as i had no hands already carrying the 3 bottles of drinks each of 1.5 litres lol !!! i reach there liao, we having cg games at ang mo kio park (which is a hill) . i climbed that bloody hill carrying the bloody bottles of water, found them n gave guozhang the water, then guozhang tells me that he never go n buy the lays !!! then call me go n buy when i was like tired liao !!! then i go lol, came back again climbing the bloody hill to give him the lays. i gave him the lays n he called me to go away without saying thanks or wad as he was preparing some stuff. lol !!!! FEEL LIKE SLAPPING HIM 10000000000000 TIMES OVER N STABB HIM WITH THE CHOPPER N LET THE DOGS EAT HIM !!! that ungratefull thing !!!! he did not even do his jod in refreshments ! ok, not so angry now, thought that still can have a nice day with the cg, lol. but then, somepeople r just as bad as that ass hole. i like carry so many times liao hor still call me carry the things to rix house, this time, with even more bloody thing, thanks for adding to my things to carry hor !!! n i did not even get to enjoy the games of the cg!!! i feel so used for the first time of my life !!! god dam it !!!! this totally sucks, somemore waste my $$ buying the things !!!!!

2006-10-11T03:51:00.000-07:00

thank god, yeay.... exams r over, can relax, but then hor, it is more boring leh, always holiday noting to do wan leh, sian,... i m that kind who cant dun do things wan lol, i will roting to dead wan lol, i got too much energy in me la. lol.

2006-10-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

I NEED TO CHANGE
i cant keep being so like 1 min grow then the next min i go back to not growing in god anymore !!! i wanna have a breakthrough in my life, i shall spent QT. i really feel that i cant not grow any more ! i feel that i already wasted so much time not grow, i must grow. i feel so dump, i could already be a sherpherd by now already ! oh god, i desire to grow more in u oh god, i to not wan to stray away oh lord.

yeay, i brought my QT book to help me do qt more, to help me grow too :)

feel so waste $$$, i spent like $5 on dota when i did not give my rc fund or give to church ! arrr... shall spent more wisely next time, i m now really really desire to serve god .

2006-10-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

i am so scared, so helpless, filled with fear, i fear that i may fail my english exam as i did not do very good in it, i was so nervios when the clock turned 9.40, i only had 5 mins to do the last page which was 12 marks n was very importan. i was so so nervios that i could not write, my whole body was shaking n i did not know wad to do to stop it, i broke down. that 12 marks just flew away right in my sight. prayed that i will not fail, but i m just filled with fear, i hate myself ! y am i so useless? y? y do i cant do anything when i get nervios? if i retain, i think that i WILL kill myself. just cant stand any more of this pain n sufferings.

2006-10-04T02:22:00.000-07:00

OF ALL I HATE, I HATE U

u think i m very fun to bully right?

well think again

ass hole

i HATE my family !!! i hate all this

i rather be a orphan than be in this family !

i hate my mother

she should be in IMH

2006-09-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

THANK GOD !!!
yeay, i got top 3 in term 3 of NA in history sa1 !!!!, yeay, felt really blessed n really being pull out of a bottomless pit as i was hateing math n did not have the mood to study. now, i have mood liao, haha :) after scholl, went home changed n went to bcc to study. haha, only pete n jeff, oh ya, anw, jeff is a person who converted if i m not wrong is like this tuesday, haha. then went to meet jon for sherpherding at bishan macs n lalala, i went crazy like always... ding dong dang. then went eat with jon at KFC then instead of going back to macs, we went to the library to study. haha, went home after that as the library was closing liao, haha. now slack a bit then later need go study liao, or i shall be prepare to die.

2006-09-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

muhahaha, today quite fun...

went school today, lol... sian. then it was science lesson, i was asked to help with a

exprement. i was to blow through two tube which was conected to two boiling tube containing lime water. then the teacher ask me to blow, then i blow lol, then i blow too hard then the lime water got "shoot" out of the boiling tube as there was a hole there... u know... lol, then almost all the lime water went up on my face in froth of the class, then they all laugh, even the teacher !!! haha, i also got laugh. haha, then .... school as normal lol. ahhhhhhhh. my spelling sucks to the core !!!!. went to c con-ser-ler for some stuff, haha

exams r near, i m getting more n more stess. but even that, lets all do god proud in exams, lets study, if u c some1 who dun wan study n is rotting at this time, pls slap him.... wa haha

2006-09-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

How You Live Your Life
You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.Your friends tend to be a as quirky as you are - which is saying a lot!You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

how true is that !!!!!

2006-09-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

so dry is my day, as dry as a day of drought

today, woke up by jon's call. but once the phone was "hanged"

i went back to sleep

did not study today, i m going to die i tell u

stressed, y do we need exams?

y did u oh lord create math to become so hard?

y make my life so stressed? arrrr...

no mood today

stuck in a rut

today just sucks

2006-09-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

WAAAAA. TONIGHT IS SCARY
went to eat supper with desmond, desmond wore something funny. then we came back, i follow him to his block, then a cat keep following us then very scary , i n desmond freaked out... ahhhhh. i went home singing a song i randomly made to make me less scared. ahhhhh

2006-09-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

THANK GOD FOR keith FOR TAKING THE TIME TO TALK TO ME N desmond FOR SPENTING QT WITH ME...
yeay, today i went for pm, although i came, i was late n the humans were praying n stuff so i stayed outside to wait for it to end. then, when i was waiting, i thought " y not join in n pray also ?" , so i did, i sang outside n stuff. i somehow felt god when i did it. haha, after pm, when to study with mich, keith and yining. keith say he wan go running to relief stress, haha, yining n i tagged along. after the run( i n yining only go there c him), on the way back, they talked to me about some stuff n try to relief me of my "dis-belives" ( my spelling sucks ok)... nice day. pray that i will not keep having mood swings n stuff...

2006-09-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

***Your Deadly Sins***
Sloth: 60%
Wrath: 20%
Envy: 0%
Gluttony: 0%
Greed: 0%
Lust: 0%
Pride: 0%
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 11%
You will get bugs, because you're too lazy to shoo them off. And then you'll die.
How Sinful Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/howsinfulareyouquiz/

2006-09-21T06:41:00.000-07:00

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace.
You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions.
You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected.

It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional.
You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others.
While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well.

At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything.
You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams.
You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

What Temperment Are You?

i feel that it is very truth about me

2006-09-21T04:07:00.001-07:00

today school had a sad feeling, cg sucked
today, school seemed so dead. was very drained today although i did noting much. my form teacher was sick but she still came to school to teacher us, so touching la. but the class just did not care...lol, she kept going to the toilet to puke, but she still try to teacher us. after our lesson, she went home, hope she gets better. then, i found out that my friend which name i will not tell who was very cheerfull n good was crying. i aready know y she was crying becaues it was the same thing the day before, i when to ask wads wrong n stuff, i told her some things she can do to feel better. after she stopped crying. hope she is alright too.
cg sucks
ahhh. i totaly cant feel god today, i was very sian n suddenly became very childdish. n i still hate jon, y do u need to make me do something i dun wanna? kiss my ass la u

2006-09-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'M MAD TODAY
ahhhh. after school, i had noting to do! so stayed in class to slack with some friends. then, my english teacher came in with some other friends, they were helping my teacher to mark some stuff. then, i went crazy n sang in a very very high tone, haha(the teacher was inside the class), i did this because a girl che rie was speaking in a very high tone too, haha. then the teacher laugh somemore la. haha. other than that, today is a boring day. lalala. slacking n dun wan to do home work. ahhhh. i need to change !!!. ahhhhh

2006-09-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

yeay... haha. studying today.
haha, they were all craping today, but studyed a little. lol.
ah, just wad i needed, my dump mother took away my sim card. so if any human that wans to contact me can only call my home number

2006-09-16T08:49:00.000-07:00

GOD can trully touch hearts
today, started like other boring days. i keep thinking if i wan to go service or not as i said i didn't wan to go yesterday. i was just very mad that day n said all not true things. so i came to service. i came with a burden heart, kept thinking that it would suck n stuff like that. then when we were in there, lots happened before the thing started, i was at somewhere then pete they all were at like far away( they were waiting for balloons ) i became a little angry. then, about the sitting thing, the ushers keep tell us to move here, then there, then there again. so angry at that time la. then, the praise n workship started, i decided to put my anger aside n really let god come in to my life to give me peace n clam me down. i prayed that god would guide me throught all the exams n stuff i m going throught now. i really did enjoyed the praise n workship, the songs were really very meaning full n i almost cried, to think that i have done so many things to hurt god but yet he did not like blast me to outer space u know. i learnt a lot today. i found out my purpose to live. i need to find joy in the things i do in order to do it well, i cant just go mood swing n kill all the ppl around me, i need to be more patient with them.
i loved today, today is the day i let god come in to my life again. i shall learn to stand strong in hard things that happen. it may take me some time to prepare myself, then i shall be a sherpherd. haha. thought through a lot today. thank god !!!

2006-09-15T03:59:00.000-07:00

FILLED WITH HATE N NOTING MORE
i hate my cg, n i hate that bloody "god" THING
I WENT TO RC FOR NO BLOODY FUCKING THING

2006-09-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

i took this from gigi's blog. ( can use it to light up ur day)

BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

2006-09-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

SIAN LA
lol, noting to do. i think i hav homework but dun wan do, head hurts... today, went school... after school , had science remedial, kind of fun... then history remedial, teacher late again... lol. after all that boring things, i wanted to go home but on my way, i saw john n jiahua the ones i quite hated as they always made fun of me. but then, we talked abt some stuff, i found out that they were that kind of okok one lol. haha.

2006-09-11T06:13:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS GREAT!!!
yeay, finally have a good good day :) today started like any other, woke up, went into the toilet n brush teeth, haha, only this this with a new one. wahaha. oral b one. ate breakfast which was only a stupid cup of milo. went to school n gave leonard back his bottle. n school went on n on.
after school, went back home to change n eat lunch. went to c dortor with desmond at the hougang polyclinic, as u know, u will be given a number to wait for n a "form" with ur name on it. we wait for the number to be registered, then registered then go wait for the number to c the doctor, while waiting, funny thing happened. an aunti waited to go buy food or something then she very rudely called lol... desmond's sheep ( jian zong, he came along) to take for her , her "form". when she when, we talked a little about her like where she go like that. then one of us looked at her "form" n saw her name. u guess wad her name was? ... it was C Devalcnnani hahaha. u get it? if u break it up, it will be c-deval(devil)- cn(go)-nani(where). haha, now u get it? if u dun, u r dumb or dumber. after that i when to somerset/cupage to get back my ez-link card from the lan shop. when i was walking there, i saw two philipino kind of lost n asked me where is the mrt station . i told them the place but they still dun know like that so i brought them there. then i dun know y, something told me to caLL jon quek. anw, i called him. then i found he was at starhub studying so i jioned him to study as i brought along something to study . then jon's friends slowly came, one of them was very hyper . haha. ate dinner there n went home, saw daniel of central. took mrt with him lol haha, talked.got home, haha.

2006-09-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS GREAT
yeay..... today i learnt a new thing. haha. n that is........... how to iron clothes... lol. ate breakfast with sis n my mum. brought a new toothbrush, haha, i last time dun brush wan. yucks. went home n slack for a while, haha. went to meet desmond to go bishan macs to study. n ya... i lost my ez-link card yesterday. haha, left my contact number to her. yeay, she found it. going to get it tmr. haha, so need to use cash to buy ticket for mrt, lol, waste my $$ only. tmr also going to bring desmond see doctor.haha. i didn't really study much today. brought a pen from .... muji... haha, its like 0.38 n it not that ex. went to my grandmother house, ate, go home. haha, god blessed me with $$ ( my grandmother gave me $$ when i did not ask for it. which i never did lol). haha. darn !!! tmr need to go school to face all that stupid, never grow up boy boys n girl girls lol. that john, lol, like shit la. act cool only. haha. cant remember all that happened today. but its amost all good. haha

2006-09-08T07:03:00.000-07:00

haha, noting happen today. only went to cut hair with pete. haha, the "hair cutter" used purple haie gel on his hair. lost so much time that i could have used to study. keep slacking

2006-09-07T05:29:00.000-07:00

THE TRANSPORT SYSTEM IN SINGAPORE MUST HATE ME !!!
lol. today went to rix house to cook for the new b's. haha. very tired. went their house to give them. then went to novena to study with lays they all(but suddenly no mood to study). ate kfc for dinner with pete. haha then went home with him. now is the part where i tell u y the transport system hates me, 1st : the mrt was delayed for like 10 mins like that. 2nd : after the mrt thing, went to take bus with pete, he was siting n i was standing, the bus driver saw the lights going red allready but he still try to cross, lol. then he sudenly brake, lol , allmost fell( a lot of ppl also). when i got up, i said very loudly " DARN IT" lol. after that i said "this driver no license leh" haha so funny. went home n very boring.

2006-09-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

no mood to study today, ahhh. i was suppose to study at RC with jon they all. but in the end, they were not studying lol(me too). they were learning guitar lol. so noisy lol. sooooo sian.... got all the maths hw i never pass up from my teacher. i was wanting to do it today as revision for end year..... :( can my life get more boring???

2006-09-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

STUDY !!!
AHHH, exams r so near. better study while u still can. today, i went with guozhang to play lan, lol, i just took extra $12 from my dad n it was suppost to last me till monday n i have spent them all liao. really need to save $ liao...( i'm saving for mp3). then, went to eat with guozhang then went to bishan to study at the macs there. wow, it didn't know that hua xiang was so good, hahax. he "made" me study ok ! which i am very thankfull abt, really thank god for hua xiang, because if dun hav him to "make" me study i will just sit there n look here n there n not study. haha. :X study ppl.

2006-09-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

WAD A DAY
had pm today, ah the same old pm, after pm went for a game of basketball. noting much happened today( as i can remember)

2006-08-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

ITS TEACHERS DAY...
anderson really do not know how to make a teacher day nice. lol, sing like shit still wanna sing, lose face only lol... went back to y.c.k.p.s which was my primary school, found out that some of the teachers i liked left for another school liao, lol , so sad. :(

2006-08-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

TODAY TOTALLY SUCKS
Had the debed thing today, i was so nervous that i was "shaking" all over while reading the things i need to say which the teacher saw n even asked me to stop. At this point, i thought that my day was not that ruin because still have care group on that day. I thought that care group would be lots of fun (which was totally not for me) because it was to be a "mega event"...lol. The nea3 blog writen that we will be meeting at 12.30pm, then... i n nick waited for them, later then we know that change to meet at 1.30pm. ok fine, we wait.... then darn!!! It rains, then i found out that there will be council meeting, darn again !!! all most all the members of the care group r in the council ! we waited n waited, somemore today's care group is the first time to a lot of new b's . i fell so bad that they had to wait on their first time . y is there just always something that will ruin my day? FUCK !!! From a "mega event" to a care group under a flat n got wet bacause of the darn rain !!! during the care group, i decided to go for a walk as i was very pissed by all that has happened, to think things thought also. i climled till the 12 floor of a flat( stairs of couse) n thought out everything, i was breaking down at that point, i cried there( not a lot of tears though, but i still cried) . as u know, i was at the 12 floor where jumping down is very possible n i almost did. i just wanted to end all the suffering i had n thought that y is god doing this to me? if u say god is growing/training me, dun u think that he is over doing it? to make things worst, jon came n ask me wad happened(that is after i came down from the 12 floor), at first i didn't wan to share to him, then he talk to me halfway ( that was when i wanted to share to him) then somebody called him, jon totally forgot abt me n turn to him n even ran to him(which always happen). at this point, i was very angry because of all the things happened, n now, this happen. i left the care group halfway( after the jon thing) . wish that i could just end all this. life is indeed full of sufferings

2006-08-29T02:54:00.000-07:00

FADDING
i dun noe y but i got this feeling that i will backside someday... i brain hurts, so many things making me have a headache... ahhhhhhhhh !!! where can i shout out loud n nobody will even look at me?(if there even is such a place pls tell me). I am that kind of if i c u doing something that is wrong ( i mean that kind of big things) i will report u wan lol, i won't even care that who u r to me, i feel that one must be published for the things he do that is wrong lol. anw, i suck at baketball n i shall hate it till i step into my grave

GOD!!! wads so wrong with me? feel so ...... Y is this happening to me, y r U doing this to me? feel like saying "I HATE U" to u... one find day i am going to burst n jump down somewhere. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

2006-08-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

GUO WEI LIGHTS UP MY DAY
Today started like any other day, lieing on my bed n did not want to get up. I was roting at home, i ate n slept again. Then, i was so sian that i felt like calling ppl which i did n i called desmond, i found out that part of his care group was in hougang point which was very near to my house...yeay !!!. Desmond said thay were studying at hougang point n asked if i wanted to join them( which i also did), i went down n found that they were in the arcade playing, lol. they said they play for a while then go study liao, so i waited for them, the last time i steped into a arcade was dun noe how many years liao lol. Later we went to macs to study, guo wei really did lighten up my day lol, he was very funny n i felt that desmond was very 'father" to guo wei, haha( guo wei was very baby ). we went for the 10pm prayer thing n....ya (prayed). So gather all together i had a good day today.( though i did not really study today) haha...

2006-08-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

today i did not go inside the church as i was very late liao, after they came out of nexus, i was told that we had yet another convert, yeay...went to eat. After that we went somewhere to "listen to gigi talk", then went for a game of dota with jon they all n was fun lol (dun know y today i play dota i keep dieing) lol. Went to my grand-ma house to eat n then went home with my aunt. we took a cab, the diver was super funny...ya haha..

2006-08-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

AH, TOO LONG NVR BLOG
Ahhhhhhhhhh, i really am lazy!!! So long nvr blog....../// woW!!! c that more n more ppl r coming to know god ! lots happen since the last time i bloged. stupid class mates keep calling me "holyman", just dun know when they will grow up !!! lol. I got my results liao, some were better than before but some, well..... ya. I got 26/40 for chinese !!! yeay, thank god !!!

2006-08-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

i can be so lazy
i always wake up already dun wan to get out of my bed 1 n in the end i will spent like about 2-3 more hours in bed. I'm like the magnet n the bed is like the iron, lol, haha. Yeay, today i was so sian at home n thank god that yeong deng asked me if i wanted to go out to play with them. Thank god for them :) Went to my 3rd aunt house for dinner n ya... went home. My primary school friend who is also in my church is somehow facing problems n i kind of sugested a few ways to relive the problems. When i asked for somebodys numder from yeong deng, he was like so ...... lol, keep asking me wad motives i have, dots.

2006-08-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

YEAY!!!
Though the day before did not start well, it ended well. I was very sian during sevice n i did not wan to stand while they were praying n everything as i did not felt god, afterthe sevice i went to the meeting which also had a alot of praying n stuff like that. I tried to pray to god but failed, after the meeting we went for a dota game n it was the best dota game i ever played lol, haha. that made me become high on spirt, i always is very high or very low in spirt wan lol. haha

2006-08-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

OVERSLEPT !!!
i alway oversleep lol, didn't go school today. Had PM today, was not so good for me lol , i did not really felt god today. I feel that there is always just something making me not feel god, i just cant feel god anymore. I always will have mood swings n thats really making me crazy lol...

2006-08-15T03:20:00.000-07:00

THANK GOD !!!
I was having my math test today, yeay!!! The paper was not very hard n i managed to do well i think. I was shocked today to c my "friend" cheat durring exams n it was CA2 la, that like very serious la !!! In the end of the test i told my teacher wad happened ya..... then after the so call friend came n scold me, i though that he was so shameless to even dare to come scold me !!!

i thought all my exams were over but then today i found out that i still have a geo test , DAM IT !!!

2006-08-10T06:01:00.000-07:00

FUN IN THE SUN AT EAST COAST !!!
i n my cg went to east coast for cg!!! it was very fun n i thought that it was very funny when wei long was buried in the sand with a very funny pose, me too was buried in the sand but in a more normal pose. thank god for guo zhang, leo n wei long for their fun games n pete for helping me with the food.

2006-08-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

i was very tried after the long day, i slept like from 3 something to 9pm !!! i should go with my mum n sis to c the fireworks at the merlion there but anywayz i was too tried to go out.

2006-08-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

WAD WE HAVE N WAD OTHERS DUN HAVE
today was the celebration of national day in my school, i cant say i had fun in school but when i was doing CIP, it was super fun. we when to a place called MINDS, it is a place where ppl r born with "problems" metally. some r like something to 99 years old of age but there metal age are only like 4-5 years old, we when there n "played" with them, we had fun together though some of my classmates were afraid of them cus they don't look very good. can u feel how blessed u r?u r born with a normal body n a normal mind, when u always feel that u r not blessed n everything, y dun u think about them? n think about how blessed u r not being like them!